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When subordinates fool you: a practical guide

If you are a Manager with at least 3 years of experience, be sure that your subordinates have already fooled you dozens of times. And if you are a Director of a Large holding Company, you do it every day. Although you may not have noticed it. I offer instructions: how to smell it and what to do with it.

Where does this come from?

Brainwashing, also known as “bullshit,” means that people are trying to control you in order to achieve their (not your) goals. Psychologists call this manipulation.

Bad? No, it’s true. A universal law that must be taken for granted and learned to live in these circumstances. The reason is simple and compelling: everyone has their own interests. You have your own, and so do your subordinates, and they don’t always match.

We all, including myself, have been playing tricks on others since we were very young. We started with parents and teachers. For example, explaining why you won’t go to school today. Or-why do you play on the computer instead of lessons (“and we did not ask anything today!”), etc., etc. Then, in the role of a subordinate (and you did not immediately become the boss?!) you’ve been messing with your boss one way or another. To be fair, your relatives, teachers, and bosses always do the same thing to you, so bash-on-bash.

How to deal with this? You can go to some psychological training, or read books. In fact, everything is simpler: it fits into paretto’s law: 20% to 80%. In our case, this means that 80% of attempts at brainwashing consist of 20% of simple tricks that are easy to recognize. And the rest is aerobatics.

Why do we do this?

If they’re making up their minds, it means they need it for some reason.

There are only 4 motives for powder and noodles:
The person wants to get away from the work that you intend to put on him.
Wants to get some preferences. From the possibility of being late tomorrow, or skipping school, to a new position and a raise in salary.
He made a mistake somewhere, intentionally or accidentally, and is trying to hide it.
Just sucking up to be nicer to the management (to achieve further points 1-3).
That’s it! It is enough to calculate the motive, and then the situation is transparent.

How does this happen?

It immediately begs the question: unscrupulous employees are trying to cover up mistakes or theft! They should be identified and fired!

In fact, of course, everything is more complicated. Even loyal people will tell you lies. It’s not their fault. This is how the system works.

Powdered brains and noodles on the ears — not always a direct and gross lie. A lie is when a person knows one thing for sure and tells you another. For example, you need 10 thousand dollars, and you are told that 50. You still have to decide on this, knowing that they can catch you.

Brainwashing is not a gross lie, but a slyness. This is when you don’t seem to be lying, everything is true… but not quite. This is what we will talk about.

The smell of powder and the taste of spaghetti

There are three main ways to brainwash your boss:
Simulation of multiple sclerosis;
Cumshoting;
Learning.
Simulation of sclerosis is the simplest and most common method. It is learned from childhood. A schoolboy who gets a d is unlikely to run to report to his parents, on the contrary, he will remain silent and pretend “everything is normal” until the diary is checked. It’s funny that adults behave the same way. If something is very wrong, many people try not to “bother the Boss”, hoping that it will resolve itself. It can be very dangerous. Often the management finds out about ahtunga when the situation is already difficult or hopeless.

The remedy for sclerosis is quite simple. Every time you see a subordinate who is engaged in a difficult and responsible task, ask how things are going. Don’t buy the answer “everything is OK, chief”: demand details. It keeps the people on their toes.

Cumshooting is the art of acting the idiot. Origin of the name from the TV series “Our rush”. On behalf of one of the characters, guest workers who are sadly repairing an apartment: Jamshut (V. Magdyash) and Ravshan (M. Galustyan). They speak their native language to each other like professors. But, when the Chief appears (S. Svetlakov), both sharply become stupid and turn on the mode “My your understand there” and “What is rugaisya, nasyalnika?!”. And most importantly — both Superleague, faithfully look into the eyes, and always want what’s best. For example, hang the battery out of the window, because “when it’s warm outside, the house is warm.”

This technique is rarely used in normal, regular conditions. Two or three cases are enough to get the performer found out and fired. In General, it does not contribute to a professional career. But it is typical for changes. You will get a full portion of jamshooting when you try to load a subordinate with a task that he does not like. Or when introducing innovations. Try to get sales to enter sales data in the new CRM, it will not seem enough. “Our rush” can not be watched, the entire concert will see in kind.

Cumshoting — typical male room. The ladies ‘version is called” I’m my mother’s fool” and is generally similar, only much richer and more artistic in performance. There are smiles, eyes, and other flirting. There is still a variant with hysteria, but this is already the pinnacle of skill.

What do you want? Women have always understood powder and other cosmetics, as well as noodles, better than us…

By the way, in the mentioned series at the same time it is shown how not to do it. The hero of S. Svetlakov yells, threatens, asks rhetorical questions… It never works.

Recipe against cumshoting: be serious and all narrow. In detail. And explain exactly what result and why you expect, according to the SMART rule. Repeat a couple of times that you are not waiting for creativity (otherwise there may be a battery outside the window), but absolutely accurate execution. In time. With the report.

If cumshoting used at the meeting, the contractor should politely stop. And then deal with it face to face. If you see it again, let us know that you count up to three times, and then raise the question of official compliance. This usually lasts a long time.

Saucepan — receiving, diametrically opposed to consuming. No idiocy, on the contrary, everything looks very intelligent. It takes a while to realize that it smells like powder and noodles. It is used to ask the Manager for additional resources and opportunities, or to cover up unpleasant facts when the snout is in the down.

The essence of learning is to hide the essence and truth (usually quite simple) behind a mass of impressive words, numbers and”facts”. Which actually do not clarify, but obscure the meaning. But they can make an impression!

Learning is a widespread, powerful, and universal technique. It is used much more widely than brainwashing the boss. For example, it is often necessary to learn the terms and cost of the project before the Customer. Or-explain to the buyer 20% of the difference in the price of two identical products or services. Therefore, learning is one of the professional competencies of marketers, sellers, advertisers, and business coaches.

This room is developed in two versions, and, unlike consuting, gender of the performer is not important. The first is verbal learning, the second is numerical learning. If and combined method, especially strong.

Verbal learning is the presentation of a text with a lot of very “smart”, preferably English-language words. Here are the simple rules:
If there is an English-language term, use it!
Choose the most complex of synonyms!
More words from the textbook of strategic management!
Often refer to the experience of Toyotas, Googols, and other media characters.
Universal phrase: “British scientists have established that…”.
The best school of learning — MBA courses, especially the most expensive.

Here is a good title of the report: “Development and implementation of the concept of an effective system for optimizing business planning policy” (my authorship).

Numerical learning is the juggling of indicators, tables, and graphs. There must be a lot of them! And be sure — with a beautiful presentation in Power Point, this is our everything!

A competent and experienced Manager at any level, from the linear to the top, to understand the situation and make a qualified decision on almost any issue, 3-5 clear, truthful indicators are enough. He needs the rest like a lion needs a microscope.

You won’t get it! Instead, there are a lot of numbers and graphs that you need to squeeze the essence out of yourself. This is numerical learning.

Both verbal and numerical learning are particularly effective when combined with sclerosis simulation. They will tell you a lot of interesting words and show you a lot of beautiful tables and graphs. Only about one “forget”, the most important thing — where is the money?

The antidote to learning is very simple: take it by the pants and from the sky – to the ground!

In the case of verbal learning, oddly enough, you can use positive jamshooting. That is, even if you generally understand what is being said, but you have detected too many clever words, pretend that you do not understand. Ask them to explain. If you get a difficult speech stream again, ask 3-5 simple questions and send a person for answers.

During numerical learning, determine which 3-5 indicators are really important and interesting for you, and ask them to voice them. If again tables and graphs-see the previous paragraph.

The simplest recipe

How do you fool your superiors? Now turn the picture around: in most cases, your subordinates use the same techniques in relation to you! At least 50% of the powder from the brain you have already shaken off.

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